The party
You get the whole circle laughing. The second you stop talking, they turn back to each other, and you drift off without saying goodbye.
You were the entertainment for four minutes and never one of them.
All aboard · The 5 Day Challenge starts Monday
Become the person people text first. Five days. One skill a day.
Learn it live each morning, use it with real people that afternoon, get coached that night. Live with Kegan Remmey, starting Monday.
Even if you've been the entertainment or the wallflower.
Join Monday's cohort →Starts in
Not ready yet? Take the free Vibe Check and get your People Skills Map in five minutes.
What students say after training with Kegan
Where Kegan's training comes from
- USMCMarine veteran
- 10 yrsclinical hypnotherapy
- 700+structural bodywork sessions
- 500+people held in water therapy
- 1,000+ hrscapoeira, gymnastics, 5Rhythms dance
- 300+ hrsin-person radical honesty training
- 8,000+strangers approached over the last 9 years
Sound familiar?
Three rooms where charm runs out
The crush
Someone you really like shakes your hand and says, "Nice to meet you." You feel it in your bones. You'll never talk to them again.
You drive home replaying the line you should have said.
The meeting
The room turns to you. Your voice goes thin, you over-explain, and someone else walks out with credit for your idea.
Your best thinking stays invisible, and the promotion goes to the louder person.
The science
What opens up when you get good with people
Harvard has followed the same people since 1938. The ones most satisfied in their relationships at 50 were the healthiest at 80. Relationships are built from skills, and skills get trained.
Top 10%
Happiness
In Diener and Seligman's study of very happy people, the happiest 10% spent the least time alone and had the strongest friendships and romantic relationships.
What it means for youYou say what you want, you laugh more on a random Tuesday, and you go to sleep with a smile on your face.
+12pts
Career
From 1980 to 2012, jobs built on social skill grew by nearly 12 points as a share of U.S. work, and the pay for social skill kept climbing.
What it means for youYou share the idea in the meeting, it lands, and your name gets attached to it. The raise becomes a conversation you start.
50%
Long life
Across 148 studies, people with strong social relationships were 50% more likely to survive over the years they were followed.
What it means for youMore birthdays, more trips, and more years of the people you love calling you first.
Three findings to remember
Loved and liked are two different scores.
When psychologist Zick Rubin first measured love in 1970, he needed two separate scales: one for loving someone, one for liking them. Family can love you and still check their phone while you talk. Liking is what makes people want you in the room, and it runs on skills you can train.
They like you more than you think.
Yale-led researchers found people consistently underestimate how much a new conversation partner liked them. First-year roommates underestimated it for most of a school year. That text you almost didn't send is the one they were hoping for.
They say yes more than you think.
Stanford researchers found people underestimate by as much as 50% how often others agree to a direct request. Wednesday's Ask and No drill puts that to work.
Sources: Harvard Study of Adult Development; Diener and Seligman, Very Happy People (2002); Deming, The Growing Importance of Social Skills in the Labor Market; Holt-Lunstad et al., Social Relationships and Mortality Risk (2010); Boothby et al., The Liking Gap (2018); Flynn and Lake, If You Need Help, Just Ask (2008); Rubin's Liking Scale (Oxford Reference).
Meet Kegan Remmey
I used to be the dancing monkey at every party. Now I'm the guy people text the next morning.
I came out of the Marine Corps performing confidence. Loud, funny, always on. Underneath it I felt hollow, and people could tell.
So I left the country. Eight years nomadic. A thousand hours of capoeira, gymnastics and 5Rhythms dance taught my body to take up space. A decade of clinical hypnotherapy taught me how people actually change.
Then I spent three years as Community Manager for Men of Means, a men's organization built on radical honesty. Every week, a room of men called my bluff. My integrity, ownership and play went up tenfold. I learned to pray and to talk with the Creator. That gave me the empathy and curiosity people feel from me in the first five minutes.
Four years and 700+ structural bodywork sessions later, I still watch people let go of a knot they've carried for years, in a single session.
Where I am now
- The people I meet at a party become friends, then clients, then they send me their friends.
- Every woman I date is closer to the dream woman I used to describe to my buddies. She used to be a wish. Now she's a dinner reservation.
- A woman held me in the water for fifteen seconds, and I cried for forty-five minutes over losing my mom. Since then I've held over 500 people through their own grief.
I teach what I had to learn the hard way, so you can skip the years it took me.
What we believe
People follow the most comfortable person in the room, even over the smartest one.
So we train the body that delivers your words, then the words. Here's the rest of what we stand for.
Your body goes first.
If your chest locks up every time someone pushes back, a clever script will die in your throat. We loosen the chest, then write the script.
Leadership is practiced like a sport.
Every real conversation this week is a rep. The ask at work, the repair with your partner, the hello at a party. We look at what happened and go again.
Aim for trust. Influence shows up right behind it.
Trust makes people lean in and say yes on their own. Asking for what you want while you're still unsure is how you earn it.
The 5 Day Challenge
Here's how each day works
- 1
Morning: learn it live
Thirty minutes with Kegan and the group. One skill, rehearsed out loud.
- 2
Afternoon: use it with real people
A mission at work, at the coffee shop, or at home. Real stakes, small doses.
- 3
Night: sharpen it together
One hour live. Tell us what happened, get coached, and go again tomorrow.
Your phone, used on purpose
Facebook's stated mission is to "bring the world closer together." Most of us use our phones to scroll past the people in the room.
In this challenge you use yours the way it was pitched to you: a voice note that makes someone smile, a follow-up text inside a day, and an invite that turns "we should hang out" into a Tuesday. When UBC researchers had 300+ people eat dinner with friends, the ones with phones on the table enjoyed it less. So we also practice when to put it face down.
Sources: TechCrunch, Facebook's 2017 mission statement; Dwyer, Kushlev and Dunn, University of British Columbia (2018).
Starts Monday, September 28. You'll leave Friday with five moves you've already tested with real people.
0days
0hours
0minutes
Join Monday's cohort →
Not ready yet? Take the free Vibe Check.
- Get attentionWalk into the circle and have people turn toward you.
- Create trustMake someone feel understood inside two minutes.
- Make the askThe Ask and No partner drill. Ask for something real, hear no, and stay warm. Scary for ten minutes, useful for the rest of your life.
- Handle the responseYes, no, or maybe. Know your next line for each.
- Move it forwardTurn a good conversation into the second one, using your phone to set it up.
Real talk.
Every party you leave early is a friendship that never got its second conversation.
Or next Friday you walk into a room, the circle opens a spot for you, and someone asks for your number before you leave.
Join Monday's cohort →
Not ready yet? Take the free Vibe Check.
Private clients
Want to work with Kegan one-on-one?
The Academy runs online. The hands-on work happens in person, in Austin.
Structural bodyworkAustin
For the athlete stuck in a desk chair
Your shoulder won't go overhead, your hip grabs on the trail, and you've started googling surgery.
Ten sessions. Three lost movements filmed on day one and again on day ten, or your money back.
See Touch That Works →Water workAustin
For the one who holds everyone else up
Your jaw clenches in traffic. When someone offers to help, you say, "I've got it."
You float while Kegan carries every ounce of your weight. You go home present, and your partner notices.
Apply for a Water Ceremony →1-on-1 coachingZoom
For the leader with a room to win
A pitch, a board meeting, a first date, a hard talk at home. One conversation you can't afford to fumble.
Private reps with Kegan until your voice fills the room and people lean in.
Book a fit call →Not sure which door fits?
Book a short call. We'll figure out whether your body, your voice, or both need the work.